Longcauseway

Church

and

Highfield

United Reformed Church

Dewsbury

January

2009 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

Dear Friend

 

New Years Eve has always been a time for looking back to the past, and more importantly, forward to the coming year. It’s a time to reflect on the changes we want (or need) to make and resolve to follow through on those changes. This is a list of the ten most popular New Year resolutions.

10. Reorganize Life

On just about every New Year resolution top ten list, organization can be a very reasonable goal. Whether you want your home organized enough that you can invite someone over on a whim, or your office organized enough that you can find the stapler when you need it, these tips and resources should get you started on the way to a more organized life.

9. Be More Charitable

A popular, non-selfish New Year’s resolution, volunteerism can take many forms. Whether you choose to spend time helping out at your local library, mentoring a child, or building a house, there are many non-profit volunteer organizations that could really use your help.

8. Learn Something New

Have you vowed to make this year the year to learn something new? Perhaps you are considering a career change, want to learn a new language, or just how to fix your computer? Whether you take a course or read a book, you’ll find education to be one of the easiest, most motivating New Year’s resolutions to keep. Challenge your mind in the coming year, and your horizons will expand.

7. Get Out of Debt

Was money a big source of stress in your life last year? Join the millions of Americans who have resolved to spend this year getting a handle on their finances. It’s a promise that will repay itself many times over in the year ahead.

6. Stop Drinking

While many people use the New Year as an incentive to finally stop drinking, most are not equipped to make such a drastic lifestyle change all at once. Many heavy drinkers fail to quit cold turkey but do much better when they taper gradually, or even learn to moderate their drinking. If you have decided that you want to stop drinking, there is a world of help and support available.

5. Enjoy Life More

Given the hectic, stressful lifestyles of millions of people in the world, it is no wonder that “enjoying life more” has become a popular resolution in recent years. It’s an important step to a happier and healthier you!

4. Stop Smoking

If you have resolved to make this the year that you stamp out your smoking habit, over-the-counter availability of nicotine replacement therapy now provides easier access to proven quit-smoking aids. Even if you’ve tried to quit before and failed, don’t let it get you down. On average, smokers try about four times before they quit for good.

3. Lose Weight

Weight loss is one of the most popular New Year’s resolutions. Setting reasonable goals and staying focused are the two most important factors in sticking with a weight loss program, and the key to success for those millions of people who made a New Year’s commitment to shed extra pounds.

2. Get Fit

Regular exercise has been associated with more health benefits than anything else known to man. Studies show that it reduces the risk of some cancers, increases longevity, helps achieve and maintain weight loss, enhances mood, lowers blood pressure, and even improves arthritis. In short, exercise keeps you healthy and makes you look and feel better.

1. Spend Time with Loved Ones

Recent polls conducted by General Nutrition Centers, Quicken, and others shows that more than 50% of people asked, vow to appreciate loved ones and spend more time with family and friends this year.

Editor

Cracker Joke

What's round and bad tempered?

A vicious circle

What must you know to be an auctioneer?

Lots  
Highfield Secretary’s Report

January 2009

May God’s blessings be with both fellowships in the coming year.  In particular our thoughts and prayers are with Mrs Ivy Turner.  We continue to keep James and the family in our prayers. 

Mrs D Taylor is now home. 

Mrs E Dyrlaga is not well. 

Door Stewards during 2009 will be: 

 

Monthly Tea will be on 6^th January at 4:00pm.  All are welcome and the cost is £2:75. 

Sisterhood (Monday Fellowship) starts again on Monday 12^th January at 2:00pm, again, all are welcome.

There will be an Elder’s Meeting on Wednesday 14^th January at 2:00pm 

All these events can be found on the ‘pull out’ January Events Calendar in the centre of this magazine.

Doris Hemingway

Cracker Joke

 

What do you get out of a poorly piano?

A sick note  

Santa Clause has the right idea.  Visit people once a year

Victor Borge

 

SPaCE News Bulletin

 

If you have any items which you think could be shared with the other churches in SPaCE, whether it be a social event, a request for volunteers to help with new or existing projects, or simply searching for a book which someone else in SPaCE may have and be willing to lend, then this is your way to make it known.

Simply send your requests or information to Denise Brook at denise.brook@btinternet.com or telephone her on 01924 490839.

The information or requests could be sent at any time to be included with your next appropriate newsletter, or, if needs be, I will send the details as a special item to the communications representative for each church. 

Norristhorpe

Next Messy Church will be 4:30pm – 6:00pm Saturday 17^th January 2009. 

Grove Everyone is invited to join us at Grove at 6:00pm any Sunday during school term time for our Evening Service.

If you enjoy a game of whist come along to Grove the 2^nd and 4^th Tuesdays in the month starting at 2:00pm. £1.00 including tea & biscuits. 

Highfield No Omnibus in January.

Next monthly tea will be January 6^th 2009 at 4:00pm (£2.75). All are welcome. 

Heckmondwike

2009 - New Year's Day Service 11:30am.

We are hoping to stage the pantomime “Jack and the Beanstalk” between 14^th and 21^st February 2009 (Kirklees half term week). Performance dates to be announced at a later date. 

Longcauseway We have a regular monthly games afternoon followed by tea. The games are board and card games; the cost is £1.50.  It is the second Tuesday of the month, see Calendar for details.

 

Longcauseway Secretary’s Report.

Church Meeting

Tuesday 25^th November 2008 

Apologies were received from ten people and forty-five attended.

John gave his Pastoral report.

There was a long discussion on the proposals put forward about changes to the Leadership Team and the frequency of meetings of this group and of Church Meeting.  The outcome of this can be found in the minutes.

The list of ‘Donations to Charity’ was presented to the meeting and was approved.

It was agreed to pay Highfield Church rent for the use of their premises.

The Toddlers Group which meets on a Friday morning is to come under the umbrella of the Pre-School Learning Alliance.

David and Jo Hartley made a very generous offer of providing Christmas Lunch, on Christmas Day at Church, for anyone who would be alone on that day.

It was agreed that the Property Committee should buy new chairs for the Hall.

Sally Speight (myself) and Jo Hartley were elected as Church Secretary and Assistant Secretary.

This is my first report as Church Secretary.

I am hoping to make the job as easy as possible for Jo and myself.  To this end I am asking that if anyone has an item for either the Leaders Meeting or Church Meeting to give it to me at least ten days before the meeting. I will of course accept emergency items. I hope this will make it easier to arrange the agendas in order of priority and time to be spent on each item. I know there has been some concern that some important items haven’t been discussed appropriately due to lack of time.

I am going to put a Church calendar in the vestry which will have notice of meetings, John’s holidays, and festival services which I hope will improve communication.

I am hoping to have some cards with a photo of the Church on the front which can be used to send condolences, congratulations, get well wishes, etc. I would appreciate it if anyone who knows of someone who is in need of a card to please contact me.

By the time this report is in “the LINK” we shall have celebrated Christmas and be looking forward to what 2009 has in store for us all.

Please bear with me as I find my way with the work I need to do as Secretary.

It therefore only needs me to wish everyone at Longcauseway a very happy, peaceful and blessed New Year.

Sally Speight

Self Help Africa

 

In the summer of 2008 ‘Harvest Help’ merged with ’Self Help Development Africa’ to create SELF HELP AFRICA. This has established a new and vibrant organisation which can make an even greater contribution in overcoming poverty and hunger in Africa. The charity works in nine countries in Africa to give some of the world’s most disadvantaged communities a better life.

“Few who have witnessed the very real sense of achievement and satisfaction - on the faces of the farmers who have transformed their holdings into gardens of plenty, or in the expression of mothers now earning money and able to send their children to school, would dispute that our “self help” approach to sustainable development, is the way to achieve long term lasting change in Africa”. (From the 2008 Newsletter).

The Church has supported this worthwhile charity in the past as I continue to do.

We have used their Worship Resources for our Harvest Celebrations in the past which have been very good and challenging.

If anyone would like more information about this charity please ask me.

Contact us infouk@selfhelpafrica.com

Visit www.selfhelpafrica.com or

Tel No. 01743 277170 

Sally Speight

 

Ladies Fellowship

 

The Ladies Fellowship met at The Ossett Community Centre on Monday for their Christmas Lunch. The room was attractively decorated with Christmas greenery and the tables in red and white. Audrey said grace before we had an enjoyable meal, which was four courses plus coffee and mints.

Entertainment was provided by Michael Littlewood.  Michael has an inexhaustible supply of jokes, stories and humorous anecdotes, even if you have heard it before, you wait expectantly for the punch line and it is always as funny as the first time. As Frank Carson used to say on television "It’s the way Michael tells `em".  The next meeting is on Monday 5^th January.  The Annual General Meeting and presentation of cheque.

Doris Gledhill.

Well done Ladies Fellowship!

 

It was wonderful to hear that £3,650 had been raised by it’s members during 2008 for the ‘Forget-me-not-Trust’, it’s selected charity. 

This is the highest amount ever raised by The Ladies Fellowship in a year and is particularly noteworthy in the present financial situation.

I applaud the hard work, effort, dedication and commitment demonstrated by the members over the many years I have been associated with the church to raise money for a local charity. 

May they be given the strength, will and encouragement to continue this remarkable fundraising for many years to come.

Alan Long 

 

Our aim is to build a hospice for children with life-limiting and life threatening illnesses. The strain on families who have to look after such children 24 hours a day, seven days a week is immense and the hospice will help meet the needs of the whole family by providing care and support.  

At the moment the nearest children's hospice for families in West Yorkshire is either Wetherby or in Manchester. Therefore there is a very real need for such a hospice. 

The hospice will provide specialist respite, emergency, palliative and terminal care in a child friendly family centred environment. There will be care for the child and support for parents and siblings.  

We have currently raised £1 million but need to reach a target of £3 million. Any donations or assistance you can give towards our cause would be most welcome. 

-oOo- 

I’ve just been fishing with the actors from the panto, but I couldn’t get my bait out far enough to catch any big ones.

Feeble, useless cast?

Well, they’re not exactly ‘West End’

 

Church Magazines

It may be that 2009 marks the 150th anniversary of the first church magazine ever published. While religious magazines have proliferated for centuries, it was not until January 1859 that there seems to be any clear evidence of a local church getting in on the act.

Then the lively young vicar of St. Michael's, Derby, the Rev J Erskine Clarke, had a brilliant idea… ‘Why not a magazine aimed at a parish?’ He jumped to supply it. ‘Parish Magazine’ was born, with Erksine Clarke as editor. He was still editing it at its demise 37 years later.

This wasn't yet a fully local production. But it was an important first step. 'Parish Magazine' offered parishes a monthly 'kernel' of sixteen pages to clad in a 'shell' of their own material. There might be only four local pages, but it was distributed under the local church's name.

The idea caught on. Sixty churches joined that first year alone, and were thereby encouraged to start publishing even just a few pages of their own each month. In its heyday, the 'Parish Magazine' insert was to be found in some two hundred parish churches in England. And it spawned competitors, two of which 'inserts' survive today: ‘Home Words’ and ‘The Sign’.

Peter Croft tells much of this story in ‘The Parish Magazine Inset’ (Parish and People, 1993)

http://www.ampneycrucis.f9.co.uk/Chatterbox/JohnErskineClarke.htm. will also give you much more information about a quite remarkable man.

Erskine Clarke was a remarkable man. As well as his parish ministry, he wrote - prolifically. As well as a number of book’, he launched several other periodicals, including the children's weekly ‘Chatterbox’ and a religious newspaper ‘Church Bells’.  ‘Chatterbox’ could claim to have within it’s readership many famous future authors, from J. M. Barrie to Terry Pratchett. Together with other similar magazines it could not survive in a different post-World War II culture.

‘Parish Magazine’ was written not for the committed church member, but for the parishioners who didn't attend regular worship. It was evangelistic, yes, but most of all it promoted the values of temperance and family life. The first article in the first issue, 'Evenings at Home', evokes in five pages the attractions of the domestic fireside over the public tavern.

Today, our church magazine looks quite different to 'Parish Life', and rightly so - for one thing, parish life has changed in the last 150 years! But even so, our magazine might not be here today if it had not been for Erskine Clarke and his Parish Magazine, way back in 1859.

Do any of our readers know when our own magazine first began? What is the earliest copy we can find? And does anyone know of a church magazine that began before 1859?

Happy Birthday

Sean Ryan will be 17 on 10^th January 2009

Thomas Conroy will be 14 on 20^th January 2009

Emma Lyndsay will be 4 on 26^th January 2009

We wish you all a very Happy Birthday!

 

Branch FM 

Jason Ramsey the full-time DJ spoke about his first year with the station.  He appealed for more support, both financial and in providing information from churches.  He would like to receive recordings of sermons and said he was willing to demonstrate recording techniques.

If anyone would like to read the complete minutes and the Officers’ reports please ask.

This report should have been in the December edition of Link.

Gill Beckett 

How do you keep a fool in suspense?

.....see February’s edition of ‘the LINK’ for the answer. 

(....not so) Strictly Come Dancing

 

Saturday 6^th December and the Diddymen of Knotty Ash pay an apparent surprise visit to the “Has Britain Got Talent?” studios in Longcauseway, Dewsbury.

After their performance they stayed to watch an array of local talent singing, telling jokes and reciting stories.

On realising the full extent and quality of the opposition the Diddymen were left with no alternative but to reveal themselves for what they really were - a group of imposters desperate for stardom and prepared to go to any lengths to achieve it.

Despite court injunctions we have decided to publish the true identities of this ‘band of actors’.  Members of the public should now be on their guard in case the same group attempts to infiltrate any other productions.  Please be vigilant in this season of Nativities and Pantomimes, the group are opportunist thespians and should not be challenged.  You are advised not to leave any scripts unattended in public.  Take care when drawing your curtains this ruthless group show no mercy, to them the whole world is a stage.

Mince Pies 

The Judges

‘No Talent Concert’ would be complete without a panel of Judges.  Discerning, distinguished this reputable group of people are responsible for the realising and shattering of dreams.

Our very own panel of judges can be seen here adjudicating at the recent ‘Saturday Night Live @ Longcauseway’. Clearly deep in serious thought and contemplation. 

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

One hundred.  One to change the bulb, and ninety-nine to say, “I could have done that.”

Anon

Why did the actor put mustard on his ham?

.....he wanted to try a more challenging roll.

 

Mirfield House Group

Unfortunately three members were unable to come to the Mirfield House Group's Christmas meeting, but those present were only too ready to tackle a table full of gorgeous goodies, although one or two look as though they can't make up their minds about the weakest link!

The evening was spent eating, laughing and racking our brains over three quizzes arranged by Veronica Ryan, but the fact that a lot of the questions involved actors of the 1940s and 1950s made it much easier!

Thank-You

 

I should like to thank all members and friends in the Dewsbury and Mirfield Methodist Circuit, including Longcauseway and Ravensthorpe URC, for their cards, prayers and kind messages, following Mum’s death.

This has been a particularly difficult and distressing time for me.

With all your help and encouragement I am beginning to get my life together again.

Best Wishes,

Richard J Morris 

 

Woolworths to close in January 2009

2009, and the credit crunch comes closer and closer to home.  Administrators at Woolworths say that all 807 stores will close by 5^th January. The first shops will have closed on 27^th December 2008 and all 27,000 permanent and temporary staff look set to lose their jobs.

The administrators said there was still interest in parts of the business but admitted they had "not come close" to finding a buyer for the firm.

“A range of food, clothes and "value retailers" have made offers to take over the leases at about three hundred stores. Efforts would be made to put Woolworths’ staff that were losing their jobs in contact with these potential employers”, the administrators Deloitte said.

Please remember all those who are experiencing financial difficulties due to circumstances that may be well beyond their control.

 

Christ in Woolworths

 

I did not think to find you there –

Crucifixes, large and small,

Sixpence and three-pence, on a tray,

Among the artificial pearls,

Paste rings, tin watches, beads of glass.

It seemed so strange to find you there

Fingered by people coarse and crass,

Who had no reverence at all.

Yet – what is it you would say?

‘For these I hang upon my cross,

For these the agony and loss,

Though heedlessly they pass Me by’.

Dear Lord forgive such fools as I

Who thought it strange to find you there

When you are with us everywhere.

Teresa Hooley

You may not be aware but....

If it wasn’t for venetian blinds it would be curtains for all of us

Eric Morcambe

 

Churches Together in Dewsbury (CTiD)

Annual General Meeting

15^th October 2008

After the opening devotions, the Moderator introduced Margaret Watson from the ‘Dewsbury Reporter’.  Margaret spoke about her childhood and how, as a Roman Catholic, she had visited churches of other denominations.  She said “I practised ecumenism before it had been invented!”  She went on to express her fears for Dewsbury and her dismay that so many churches had closed down.  She said she wanted to see the government funding the repair and maintenance of church buildings in the same way as it was backing banks.  She was determined to persuade the Prime Minister to recognise and support the work carried out in the community by Christian congregations and felt Churches Together should put more pressure on press, council and government to achieve this.  She was willing to help in any way she could, both as an individual and through her position on the Dewsbury Reporter.  The moderator thanked Margaret on behalf of the meeting which then returned to the evening’s business.

There were twenty-three present, representing nine churches.  Minutes of the 2007 AGM were agreed.

 

Election of Officers

 
 

The Treasurers’ Reports were given for Churches Together, the Mini-walk and Christian Aid, and were accepted with thanks.

 

The Officers’ Reports were received from the Moderator, Secretary and Press Officer, and were accepted with thanks.

 

Fees agreed these remain at £30 per church.

 

 

CARE Dewsbury Launched on 6^th July 2008 and opened 7^th July 2008 to the homeless, those addicted to drugs and alcohol, and those in need.  Only one person came that day and none on the Thursday.  They are now catering for between nineteen and twenty-two people every session.

Funding was provided from Kirklees Council (£7,000) and a further £10,000 was given by churches and individuals in Churches Together.  A store room at the Baptist Church was transformed into a warm welcoming environment with a kitchen area and tables and chairs.  St John Fisher RC High School gave four computers to help with letter writing, education and job seeking and various churches have provided food and clothing on a regular basis.

The centre is staffed totally by volunteers from several churches and the spirit of co-operation and cheerfully working together is very special.  Every session starts with prayer, and those who use the centre are more than willing to join the circle.

The staff have good relationships with outside agencies and have been able to find accommodation for several users, and also point some in the right direction when medical help was required.  There are several positive stories about the people who use the centre and Liz Exley says that God is doing wonderful works through CARE Dewsbury and the users do, frequently, express their surprise and appreciation for what they find there.  This is a slightly shorter version of Liz Exley’s report.

Gill Beckett

Pat Nunn’s Bloopers

 

These statements actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services thanks to Pat Nunn.

 

 

Guild of Methodist Braillists

 

Recently I was unfortunate enough to preside over the winding up of the Guild of Methodist Braillists, a voluntary group who since 1952 had been transcribing books of a religious or devotional nature into Braille.  Sadly, the group had become unsustainable.  In addition to the transcribing of books, which were donated to the libraries of RNLIB and NLB, we occasionally did smaller private requests such as; song sheets, orders of service, articles from magazines, Methodist membership tickets, etc.  I still have contact with a couple of churches (not local) who have blind members who are Braille readers and for whom I do such jobs.  If anyone knows of Braille readers, whether associated with church or not, who might want a free transcription service please pass on my contact details.

Tel No.: 01924 520294

E-mail barryhamer@ntlworld.com.

Barry Hamer

Longcauseway Family News

 

Welcome to the first edition of our ‘Family News’ for 2009.

 

Unfortunately we begin with the sad news of the death of Mary Longbottom who had been a member of the Central Methodist Church for many years.  Richard Morris' mother died in December and we pass on our very sincere condolences to Richard.  We were also sorry to hear that Odelle Whitehead’s auntie, Annie Greaves, passed away just before Christmas.  Although she was not a member of Longcauseway Church she was a friend of Eric & Kathleen Townend, for many years she had been a neighbour to Stuart and Sheila Wilcock.  Sadly, Doris Morton passed away on Christmas Day morning.  We keep all these people and their families in our thoughts and prayers at this sad time.

We were pleased to see Malcolm Jones back at church in December after three recent spells in hospital.  I am also delighted to report that Christina Davies came out of hospital in time to spend Christmas with her daughter.

Some of you will be aware that Kath Thurman's mum, Joyce, was in hospital in December; I am pleased to report that she has now returned home and is doing well.

Eunice Whitehead is now recovering after having had her hip replacement operation at the end of November.  She would like to thank all her friends at Longcauseway Church for the many cards, visits and phone calls that she has received during her convalescence.

Kathleen Townend was due to undergo an operation on the 23^rd December.  We trust that it went well and wish her a speedy recovery.

We were thrilled to hear Janet Frain's good news in December that she had received the all clear from her recent tests at the hospital. Last month we also celebrated the baptism of Janet's granddaughter, Lucy Laycock.  We hope they had a lovely day.

I look forward to hearing of your news in time for our February edition of ‘the LINk’.  Until then a Happy New Year to you all!

Lyndsey Hall

‘the LINK’

 

Many thanks to all those who have contributed articles to ‘the LINK’ during 2008.  The deadline for articles for February’s ‘the LINK’ will be 12:30pm on Sunday 18^th January 2009.

Please send any articles to:

 

Words of Wisdom

At the start of a new year you may wish to consider the following profound observation – “I think we agree, the past is over”

George W Bush

 

Thought for the Day

 
 

 

Angela Merici (1474 - 1540)

 

2009 is the International Year of the Child, and Angela is a good saint to remember as the year gets underway. Not only did she herself survive a harsh childhood, but she went on to dedicate her own life to helping children in need.

 

Angela was born near Lake Garda, in Desenzano, where she was orphaned as a young child. The 1480s were hardly an easy time for orphaned girls, but somehow Angela survived to grow into her teens, when she became a Franciscan tertiary. However miserable her own childhood, Angela chose to let it work for good in her life: she decided to devote her own life to the education of poor girls. Girls! This was a time when most of the men were illiterate!

 

But Angela was an audacious woman, and she had only just begun. She and some close companions set to work in the name of Christ, seeking out the poor families in their community. Angela taught the young girls all that she could, and prayed with them, assuring them that even they were precious in the eyes of their Creator.

 

All of which left the Roman Catholic Church badly baffled. What should they do with religious sisters who had taken no vows, still wore their lay clothes, and who, instead of walling themselves up in some nunnery to lead an enclosed life, spent their days in a decidedly mobile, highly visible fashion - out and about in community support?

 

It wasn't until 1565, some 25 years AFTER Angela's death, that the Church decided it approved of such work. By then the Ursuline nuns, as they were by then called, were going from strength to strength. They still flourish today, with some 2400 Ursuline Sisters in 27 provinces on six continents, and have been well described as 'the oldest and most considerable teaching order of women in the RC Church.'  It took nearly 300 years, but in 1807 the Roman Catholic Church decided that Angela, unveiled, unenclosed and unsupervised as she had been, had been a saint after all - and 'made' her one.

 

Happy New Year – it’s Party Time

 

The Dieting Season

 

 

Hogmanay

 

The bagpipes are an instrument of torture consisting of a leaky bag and punctured pipes, played by blowing up the bag and placing the fingers over the wrong holes.

Dick Diabolus

 
 

But there is something to be said in favour of bagpipes especially for anyone wanting to learn to play a musical instrument....

The bagpipes sound exactly the same when you have finished learning them as when you start.

Thomas Beecham

 

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

 

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into my garden one day. I could tell from his collar and well-fed tummy that he had a home and was well taken care of. Calmly, he came over to me, and then followed me into my house. Slowly he walked down the hall, into the sitting room, curled up on the hearthrug, and fell asleep.

An hour or so later he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, greeted me in my garden, walked by me into the house, and again slept for an hour or so in the sitting room.

This daily visit, with a nap, continued on and off for several weeks. Curious, I finally pinned a note to his collar: "I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is, and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with six children, two under the age of three - he's trying to catch up on his sleep.  Can I come with him tomorrow?"

-oOo-

 

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a folded newspaper. "What are you doing?' she asked.

"Hunting flies," he muttered.

"Oh! Kill any?"

'Yes, three males and two females," he replied.

Intrigued, the woman asked: 'How can you tell them apart?'

Her husband responded: "Easy. Three were on my tin of beer, and two were on the phone."

 

-oOo-

 

New for Lent  I always make the same resolution and I have never once broken it: every year I resolve to give something up for Lent and then when Lent comes I give up my New Year's resolution.

 

-oOo-

 
 

-oOo-

 

Did you hear about the thief who stole a calendar.....

....... and got twelve months?

-oOo-

 

A boy was watching his father, a minister, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked.

 

"Why, God tells me," replied his father contentedly.

 

"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

 

 

A Month of Sundays

 

4^th January 1785:  Jacob Grimm was born today in Hanau.  Jacob was the master of seven languages, during his peripatetic lifetime he was secretary to the war office in Kassel, private librarian to King Jérôme of Westphalia, a librarian and lecturer at the University of Göttingen, a delegate to the Congress of Vienna and a professor in Berlin invited personally by the King of Prussia.  He was a leading expert in German and wrote a book that related the early history of the German people to the growth of the language.  Without Jacob Christmas today would be very different.  His lasting fame of course stems from a three-volume work entitled Kinder- und Hausmärchen that he published with his brother Wilhelm when both were still in their twenties.  More familiar to us under the title of Grimm’s Fairy Tales.  The brother’s believed that folktales were important to everyone because they expressed the universal dreams, fears and joys of mankind.  What would Pantomime be like without, Snow White, Hansel & Gretal, Rumplestiltskin, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and many, many more?

Also on this day, and I expect that Barry Hamer is already aware of this, in 1809 Louis Braille, French deviser of an alphabet for the blind, was born.

 

11^th January 1928:  Thomas Hardy, British Novelist dies.  Hardy's early religious experience was with the Plymouth Brethren.  He was often in the company of Henry R. Bastow, a fellow architect, when they studied the Greek New Testament together.  Bastow went to Australia but maintained a long correspondence with Hardy, eventually Hardy tired of these exchanges and the correspondence ceased.  Hardy's links with the Brethren also concluded.

In ‘Far From the Madding Crowd’, Oak’s entire flock, and livelihood, dies.  For Oak, being a simple farmer with nothing to his name, to encounter such a loss is a tragedy wherein Hardy wants his readers to consider the role of God in this type of situation along with the universe’s cruelty.  Biblical references can be found woven throughout many of Hardy’s novels as he became friends with a Dorchester minister, Hourace Moule.  Moule also influenced Hardy’s point of view by introducing him to scientific studies and ideas that questioned the literal meaning of the Bible.  These new ideas, along with Darwinism, and a series of unsettling events in Hardy’s life may be the reason for his pessimistic attitude that is perceived by many critics and readers alike.

 

18^th January 1778:  English navigator Captain James Cook becomes the first European to visit the Hawaiian Islands.  Cook and his crew were welcomed by the native Hawaiians, who attached religious significance to the Europeans' arrival.  In 1779, the expedition returned to Hawaii for a month, during which time tensions mounted.

When rough seas forced a third return, misunderstandings lead to violence.  Peace negotiations with the Hawaiian king collapsed, and on February 14, 1779, a mob descended on the Englishmen.

They fired at the angry Hawaiians but were overwhelmed, and Captain Cook was amongst the crew members who died in the surf during the retreat to the ship.

 

25^th January 1533:  Henry VIII secretly marries a pregnant Anne Boleyn and with that secured the Boleyns' status as one of the most influential families in the land. It was said that she was the only woman who ever dared to argue and answer back to Henry. At the time, the King tolerated his lover's feisty demeanour and her witty repartee excited him. Years later, perhaps reflecting on his tumultuous relationship with Anne, Henry was to insist on a future wife who was servile and 'untroublesome'. It is also questionable whether Anne really loved Henry or simply relished the idea of becoming Queen after her initial betrothal to Lord Henry Percy was callously terminated by Cardinal Wolsey. There is little doubt that had she married Percy as intended, she would have at least avoided an early demise at the executioner's block.

Heard over Christmas Dinner

 

Would you like a Prawn Cocktail?

No thanks, I don’t drink.

 

Pat Nunn’s Bloopers continued

 

Pat Nunn

 

Last week when I collected the turkey from the butchers I bet him £50 that he couldn’t reach the meat on the top shelf.

He said, ‘No, the steaks are too high.’

Tommy Cooper

 

The ad in the paper said, ‘Big Sale. Last Week.’  Why advertise?

I already missed it. They’re just rubbing it in.

Yakov Sminoff